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Every Cool Down in Coolville Liked Christmas A Lot

Dec. 25, 2021
CLARK'S REMARKS CLASSIC: For our first Covidian holiday a year ago, HPAC's sustainability columnist added a modern twist to his annual holiday essay (2020).

The Grinch is variously described as “mean,” a “monster,” “vile,” and a “rotter"… and those are some of the nicer pejoratives. I think we’ll all agree that the Covid-19 pandemic has been viler and more of a monster. But I’m confident that 2021 will be much better for Coolville (Whoville with air conditioning) and for the rest of us in every climate...

Every Cool down in Coolville liked Christmas a lot

But the Virus who lived there certainly did not!

Staring out from its corona with a sour, Virusy frown

At the warm lighted windows below in their town.

"And they're hanging their stockings," it snarled with a sneer.

"Tomorrow is Christmas! It's practically here!"

Then it growled, with its Virus spikes waving,

"I must find some way to keep Christmas from coming!

For tomorrow, it knew, all the Cool girls and boys

Will wake bright and early. They'll rush for their toys!

And then they'll do something it hated most of all!

Every Cool down in Coolville, the tall and the small,

They'll stand close together, with Christmas bells ringing.

They'll stand hand-in-hand, and those Cools will start singing!"

Then it got an idea! An awful idea!

The Virus got a terrible, awful idea!

"I know just what to do!" The Virus laughed in its throat.

"I'll make everyone wear a mask and a coat."

And it chuckled, and clucked, "What a great Covid trick!

In his coat and his mask, I'll infect old Saint Nick!"

I’ll make him so sick he goes around and around,

And he won’t know what to do, his mind to be found.

Then the Virus said "Spread!" and the droplets started down

Toward the homes where the Cools lay a-snooze in their town.

All their windows were dark. No one knew it was there.

All the Cools were all dreaming sweet dreams without care

When it came to the first little house of the square.

"This is stop number one," the infected Claus hissed,

As he climbed to the roof, empty bags in his fist.

Where the little Cool stockings hung all in a row.

"These stockings," he said, "are the first things to go!"

Then he slithered and slunk, with a smile most unpleasant,

Around the whole room, and he took every present!

"Pooh-pooh to the Cools!" it was quietly humming.

"They're finding out now that no Christmas is coming!

They're just waking up! I know just what they'll do!

Their mouths will hang open a minute or two

Then the Cools down in Coolville will all cry boo-hoo!

That's a noise," grinned the Virus, "that I simply must hear!"

It paused, and the Virus put a hand to its ear.

And he did hear a sound rising over the snow.

It started in low, then it started to grow.

But this sound wasn't sad!

Why, this sound sounded glad!

Every Cool down in Coolville, the tall and the small,

Was singing without any presents at all!

It hadn't stopped Christmas from coming! It came!

Somehow or other, it came just the same!

It came without ribbons! It came without tags!

It came without packages, boxes, or bags!"

And what happened then? Well, in Coolville they say

That the vaccine was given out on that day!

And a healthy Santa rode into Coolville and brought back their toys.

He brought back their stuff to the Cool girls and boys.

Welcome Christmas. Bring your cheer,

Cheer to all, we have nothing to fear!

Christmas Day is in our grasp

So long as we have hands to grasp.

Christmas Day will always be

Just as long as we have we.

Welcome Christmas while we stand

Heart to heart and hand in hand.

From me and my family to you and yours, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

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A regular contributor to HPAC Engineering and a member of its editorial advisory board since 2012, Larry Clark, LEED AP, O+M, is a principal at Sustainable Performance Solutions LLC, a south Florida-based engineering firm focusing on energy and sustainability. Email him at [email protected].

To see the latest collection of his columns in our new Clark's Remarks e-Book, 'Sustainable Frontiers, 2020', click here.